I’ve really turned into a music fanatic. Generally. I’m relatively obsessed with Radiohead’s studio albums, it’s quite amazing. Music used to be somewhat in the background for me. I guess it’s because I never liked silence so much…. as a kid, I listened to all those old records my mum had stored away in the basement, and when I went to the playground alone I mostly took a walkman with me (yes the actual thing, not just something Sony put that name on) to listen to some old mix tapes I found in our car. Tapes are awesome, I don’t get CDs anymore. Skipping songs is like the only reason the are more ‘useful’ than cassettes…. but who the hell skips songs on mix tapes? Just make a proper tape and that’s it. You just need records.
And by the time radio stations began to seriously suck in Germany they shut down Napster; all of the sudden, there was Kazaa and eMule and stuff like that. No need to purchase CDs. Artists don’t have to be so stupid to just release their music digitally, right? Sure, I shared the common fascination everyone had for CDs at some point. But seriously, you get over that. What the fuck. Not even the covers are decent. Way too small and hidden beneath cheap plastic. This new quest for quality in design is so amazingly stupid. Simulating materials. “Chrystal CD cases”. Yeah. Fuck you, too.

_{Listening to: The Cure
Eating: nope
Drinking: juice
Thinking about: certain proposals
On my mind: self-criticism I won’t spell out}

So when I had downloaded enough music to get lost in it; and enough to find my few special tracks, I got myself an iPod shuffle. That was a little more than four years ago. Until then I had only used a Windows PC; and for nostalgic reasons, a Macintosh SE. I went to Tokyo and learned a huge amount of life lessons in just four weeks. Afterwards, I got lost in a feeling that I could partly recapture with the soundtrack of Lost in Translation and some Drum and Bass tracks I’d listened to in my Tokyo apartment, when I couldn’t sleep because it was all too exciting to be there. So the iPod went to school with me from that point on.
A year later, I got myself a Mac Mini and had the chance to really simplify the digital part of my life; which, with photography playing a more important role in my life, had grown enormously over the months. I started to have enough money to buy a few music albums every once in a while, so I did. In October 2006, I went to Sicily with my arts class, and talked about music a lot with some people. Also, I made some of the best photographs I had made until that point (and for months thereafter). That experience helped me to really fully understand some music, and getting (back) into rock music. My interest in making music myself also came back; and in a serious manner this time around.
In 2007, I moved to Berlin for my social service and to get out of my shitty home town. It was a great step into the unknown and again, I learned so much by just having to deal with the circumstances. Getting into weird situations has since been kind of a secret interest of mine; sometimes I just do stuff or say stuff to try and fuck up my life. Happened kind of a lot in 07 and 08. I learnt my lesson, and I completely fell in love with music, photography and Tokyo.
Now I’m not stealing music anymore but buying it, either online, or on vinyl. I got myself a DJ kit, with a cassette deck to record mix tapes and found that walkman in my old room in Unheimat. There was so much going on these last four years; I’m glad it finally calmed down for a bit…. although I can’t wait for the next weird new situations coming along; maybe this December already; but definitely next March.
Certain parts of my life are just so plain easy and I have so few ‘normal’ problems, that I seem to come up with problems myself. Making it harder for me to rest, to avoid getting lost in thoughtless happiness.